TEN TIPS TO BE
​MORE PRESENT TO OTHERS

Our staff work very hard to be present and available to you whenever you need your church. Here are a few tips they have suggested to help you be more present to others. 

1. When you're tempted to fire off a quick text to someone, consider picking up the telephone or sending a hand-written note instead. It takes longer but it will be so much more appreciated.
2. Make a plan to contact people and use technology to set the intention. If you intend to call someone, enter it as a meeting on your calendar for a specific time and date.  For example,  one of our staff members has a weekly Sunday dinner with her parents over Zoom.
3. Volunteer for an organization that will allow you to be present to others in need. For example, staff a crisis hotline, help under resourced kids with their homework, or work the front desk for the St. Vincent de Paul help center.  There is an amazing program at UCSF called "No One Dies Alone" that pairs terminal patients actively dying with volunteers who simply sit with the patient and be present to him or her in their final moments. Click here for more information.
4. When meeting with someone, move to a quiet, more private space to talk. Let them see you turn your phone off and set it aside and have nothing in your hands or in your lap. Then, let the conversation begin.
5. ​Make the other person feel comfortable by asking whether they would feel more comfortable sitting face-to-face or doing some other activity while talking like walking or going for coffee.
6. When listening to someone, maintain eye contact, nod to indicate that you understand, mirror the other person's demeanor, and summarize back to the person what you heard.
7. Join one of our healing groups at St. Hilary. We currently offer a bereavement ministry, divorce support group, and support for people suffering with mental health challenges. No prior experience is required.
8. Be more present to your family by putting cell phones away in the evening and eating together without interruption.
9. Make it a point to interact with people you find difficult. Sometimes a gentle approach will soothe even the grumpiest person!
10. Be present to God by spending a few minutes in prayer and reading the Bible or attending Mass every day.